What does living in the present really entail?

Does it mean that we neglect the influence of past events? Perhaps it means that we strictly focus on the current affairs of our lives? Living in the present requires walking a very fine line. It means we acknowledge that our past molds us, but we must not let previous engagements interfere with our current state and obstruct us from achieving what is in front of us.

The borders between the past, present, and future are tethered together. These so called time frames have a tremendous influence on one another and how we chose to live our current lives.

We are constantly shaped by not only the past, but also the future. It is easier to see how our history is intertwined with the present. We acknowledge that prior interactions have a direct impact on us and how we socialize with our…

Author’s note:

If you are a breast cancer “survivor” who embraces that ideal image–the pink products, the racing for the cure, etc.– I am truly happy for you. I mean that sincerely, without my usual dose of sarcasm. And just as sincerely, I beg you to stop reading this post, you will probably find it offensive. As nearly always, there will be foul language, because that is how I speak.

This post is for the ones who got breast cancer, and went into it doubting, or maybe at first embracing, what I shall henceforth refer to as The Image. It is for those of us who at some point realized we could not live up to The Image. And for those patients lost and unsure, feeling set adrift, away from the pink anchor. This post is for them–you–us. -anotheronewiththecancer, AKA cancer curmudgeon

Why do I propose this burial? Because I…

“Patient blogs reveal the true extent of the impact of cancer on finances, work practices, family life…they offer a window into the lived experience of the patient.”

~Marie Ennis-O’Connor

When you are 34 years old, lecturing and working in Public Relations and Marketing at a University, you aren’t thinking about cancer.  Yet in 2004, Marie Ennis-O’Connor suddenly had to.  Her life changed with her diagnosis of breast cancer.

In a recent post on the International Journal of Public Health website, this Irishwoman writes, “A cancer diagnosis is not just a single event with a defined beginning and end, but rather a diagnosis [which] initiates a survival trajectory characterized by on-going uncertainty, potentially delayed or late effects of the disease or treatment, and concurrent psychosocial issues that extend over the remainder of a person’s life.”

The uncertainty, delayed effect of the disease or treatment and the possibility of recurrence are all…

A hefty thanks to my good friend AnneMarie over at Chemobrain for alerting me to this topic. She wrote this post about a newly minted law in New York. I’m purposefully ill-informed about such current events; I don’t watch the news and I cherry-pick which stories I follow because the local news is full of big-city sensationalism and the national news wears me out, particularly with the uptick in political/biparty bickering. When election time rolls around, I do some concentrated research on my local and national candidates, but don’t need all the buzzy asides about which congressperson is misbehaving or which serial killer is still at large or who eye-rolled whom. As my wise friend Amy Hoover says, I know about all the current events in my home, and that’s enough to keep up with.

The news of the new dense breast laws did catch my attention, though, thanks to AnneMarie…

I post on a number of blog sites, and I recently posted—on all the sites I use—Art Therapy and Mindfulness Training Lower Stress in Breast Cancer Patients. Basically I posted a link to the article on HuffPost, along with the comments I left on HuffPost’s comment section. I’ve experienced some strange reactions, which I might discuss in a later post. I may have gone off on the article “half-cocked”, but I still stand by my comments.

I am not against lowering stress, using meditation, art, yoga, or anything anyone wants to do/indulge in, to feel better, cancer patient or not. I do some of these things and more, which works for me. But I must express what bothers me about the article and its presentation, (not the methods or the idea of de-stressing). Here are the first few words of the article: “Stress is especially dangerous for those with…

We’re all so programmed to minimize our experiences.  I hear it a lot among women with breast cancer.  Whether it be in a discussion board or face-to-face conversation, it doesn’t take long for someone to say “I’m just dealing with hair loss” or “I’m only just stage two.”   I think there are two sides to this coin.  On one side, we know that someone else always has it worse.  And, on the other side, we’re relieved that we’re not that someone else.

Even at Stage IV I can preface a statement with “I’m just.”  I’m just taking Tamoxifen and haven’t had to deal with the horrors of chemical warfare; I have had no surgery and still have my breasts.  I just have metastasis to two spots in my spine, not every bone in my body.   I just have some spots on my lung, but not in my liver.  …