Maybe remember this when you find yourself wanting to minimize something (anything) someone else is going through by saying (some variation of) “someone else has it worse.”
We’re all so programmed to minimize our experiences. I hear it a lot among women with breast cancer. Whether it be in a discussion board or face-to-face conversation, it doesn’t take long for someone to say “I’m just dealing with hair loss” or “I’m only just stage two.” I think there are two sides to this coin. On one side, we know that someone else always has it worse. And, on the other side, we’re relieved that we’re not that someone else.
Even at Stage IV I can preface a statement with “I’m just.” I’m just taking Tamoxifen and haven’t had to deal with the horrors of chemical warfare; I have had no surgery and still have my breasts. I just have metastasis to two spots in my spine, not every bone in my body. I just have some spots on my lung, but not in my liver. …
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