Book Excerpts: Then Came You by Jennifer Weiner

*****Then Came You

” . . . All I’d wanted was for someone to be happy for me — happy with me, straight up happy, not happy with questions, or happy with reservations, or happy but confused, or not happy at all . . . and there was no one in my life, including my husband, who fit the bill. . . .”

Been there, felt this.  (Rarely to include my husband, but yes, it has happened – though more often when I hit a place like this, he’s the only one who Does feel (whatever, doesn’t always have to be happy – sometimes indignant, sometimes just plain mad) for me.

Again, we have a book with only one lonely little quote.  This one I did finish, but I didn’t think it rose to the level of Jennifer Weiner’s other books.  I could see where it was going about halfway through, and it could have been lovely, but somehow it felt somewhat disjointed to me.

Copyright Ridingthebcrollercoaster.com 2012-2013 All Rights Reserved.

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Word of the Day (March 29, 2013): swivet

cropped-swivet-header-771827

– noun:

[SWIV-it]

Definition:

A state of nervous exceitment, haste, or anxiety; flutter.  I was in such a swivet that I could hardly speak.

Examples:

1. This sent her into a larger swivet, but its ferocity now didn’t faze Susan.  She now knew the deal.

– Douglas Coupland, Miss Wyoming, 2010

2. Benny had warned Patsy about this; the mother, he said, was in a swivet about the plea.

– Michelle Nuneven, Blame, 2010

[From Dictionary.com]

This word strikes me as very Jane Austenian, but maybe that’s just me.

Related Articles:

2013 Reading Challenges: Deliberate Abandonment

*****

REading frog

Abandonment.  That’s a word that usually has me diving for under the covers to take to my bed like the good Southern woman I’m Not (yep, born and raised here in SoCali and me with no blonde hair Or blue eyes- can you believe such a thing?!) and hide until the monster goes away.

But in true incorrigible, defiant (See “Quotes That Speak to Me“) woman style, I’m going to take that which terrifies me (always has) and use it as I see fit.

Specifically, in this context, I am, after much thought and deliberation, abandoning the reading challenges I so happily took on at the end of last year.

Not because I’m not reading anymore.  It’s precisely the opposite in fact.

I found that it wasn’t so much writing the reviews that was turning into another “to do (although that is a problem too),” but it felt like work to match it to all the reading challenges it worked for, then find the latest challenge linky post for that challenge and link it there.  It all became too much “to do,” and sometimes I’d just rather be reading the next book (most of the time, in fact).

Plus, I found myself picking books according to if it would fit a (or more than one) reading challenge, rather than something I was really excited to open up and get lost in.  And I love reading for the escapism (yes, books are cheaper and less self-destructive than other coping mechanisms), and the education (at 46 years old, I’m learning new words in the book I’m reading now) both.  So I didn’t want something that I didn’t “have to” do spoiling my lifelong love of books.

Therefore, I am consciously abandoning my reading challenges.  I will still post Excerpts and Reviews, but only when and because I wanna, not because I committed to doing so for no necessary reason.

So, from here on out, keep your eyes peeled for my Book Excerpts and Book Reviews, which will continue to show up – when I decide and for no other reason than that.

Book Excerpts: Barefoot Season by Susan Mallery

*****

Barefoot Season by Susan Mallery

” . . . Once in the truck, she glanced at the house.  From the outside, it wasn’t much.  But to her it was everything she needed.  A place to retreat and lick her wounds.  Somewhere she didn’t have to pretend.  Sanctuary. . . .”

Thankfully, I have somewhere like that – my bed at home.  I’ve been spending a lot of time in it the last six months or so.  It’s a place I can go and shut the world out.  I’ve needed to do that for physical and emotional healing while I deal with the cancer and its effects on my body and mind – my life.  I’m glad it’s here for me, as I expect to need it off and on for quite a while yet.

” . . . “I’m sure her time in the army has changed her.”
Carly rinsed out the dishcloth and hung it over the sink.  “How do you know that?  You barely knew her before.”
“How could war not change someone?”

Right, so the current language is that a cancer patient “fights” the cancer.  ‘Nuff said.  Or if you don’t get what I’m saying from that, please see “Awakening.”

“She had to admit, looking better made her feel a little better.  More here rather than in some kind of emotional limbo.”

Emotional limbo – been there, know that place.  It’s not Always a bad place to be.  Sometimes it’s a way station for where one needs to go while necessary subsurface processing happens.

“. . .” You’re not stupid and you’re not alone.  We all do things that don’t make sense to other people.”

I’m sensing a theme here.  I like it.  I resemble that remark.

Copyright Ridingthebcrollercoaster.com 2012-2013 All Rights Reserved.

Book Excerpts: The Queen Gene by Jennifer Coburn

*****

The Queen Gene

” . . . “I need some time to digest everything you’ve said.”  I learned that dismissal years ago when a client said it to me.  At the time, I thought it was a polite way of letting me know that my complex concept needed time to be broken down and properly appreciated.  Now I know it’s a nice way of saying, This conversation is over. . . .”

Who knew one could learn actual life skills from a light, fun read?  I’m Definitely remembering this one.  I learned from a very wise therapist once that just because someone else wants to have a certain conversation Does Not mean that I am required to have that conversation.  This is a polite way to say “I am not having this conversation with you.”  Nice.

Copyright Ridingthebcrollercoaster.com 2012-2013 All Rights Reserved.

Book Excerpts: The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides

*****

The Marriage Plot

” . . . What made Madeleine sit up in bed was something closer to the reason she reads books in the first place and had always loved them.  Here is a sign that she wasn’t alone.  Here was an articulation of what she had been so far mutely feeling.  In bed on a Friday night, wearing sweatpants, her hair tied back, her glasses smudged, and eating peanut butter from the jar, Madeleine was in a state of extreme solitude. . . .”

I like that idea – extreme solitude, and yet not alone.

” . . . ‘Of or related to Leonard Bankhead (American, born 1959), characterized by excessive introspection or worry.  Gloomy, depressive.  See basket case.‘ . . .
Hannaesque,” Leonard said. “Stubborn.  Given to ironclad positions.”
“Hannarian,” Madeleine said.  “Dangerous.  Not to be messed with.”
“I stand warned.” . . .

” . . . Grief was physiological, a disturbance of the blood. . . .”

Yes.  I have no insightful commentary, just yes, so yes!

” . . . A bruised ego reflected its own image. . . .”

Copyright Ridingthebcrollercoaster.com 2012-2013 All Rights Reserved.

Book Excerpts: Tales from the Crib by Jennifer Coburn

*****

Tales from the crib

” . . . I hated this trite platitude people shot out when they were uncomfortable with another person’s mourning. . . .”

I run into this a lot in the context of having cancer.  People say stupid things trying to get Me to be positive because They are uncomfortable.  Newsflash – My Cancer is Not about how you feel, and if I’m having a bad day with it (totally justifiable and permissible because having cancer sucks!) get over Yourself about me not being happy about having cancer.

” . . . Why was it impossible or people to accept that humans had room for completely conflicting emotions, and one did not detract from the other in the slightest?. . . .”

Now, I don’t know if this makes perfect sense to me because I’m a Gemini, or if all people feel that way sometimes, but um – duh!

” . . . I understand that when someone says, “Oh, don’t feel sad,” they really are trying to help.  But telling me not to feel what I’m already feeling is not at all helpful.”

In fact, being told that one’s reality is not true is one of the truly crazy-making things someone can do to another.

” . . . I always hated when Aunt Rita completely negated my feelings by telling me how much worse off she was at my age. . . .”

Yeah, I think this one’s related to my first quote (and reaction thereto) from this book.  It amazes me how often my experiences are discounted by people saying “someone else has it worse.”  Well, yes, I’m absolutely sure someone does.  But I wasn’t talking about them.  I was talking about me.  Really, what does someone else’s experiences have to do with my current one.  I shouldn’t be less than perfectly-ecstatic at all times because someone else is going through something You decide to judge as worse?  By that measure whoever you hold up to me doesn’t get to feel badly either because someone certainly has it worse than them.  So does one person in the whole world have the right to be less than perfectly ecstatic?  Who is that person?  Who gets to decide who that is?

Oh, and by the same token, if someone else has it ‘worse’ than me, then certainly someone else also has it better.  Hell, I can name a dozen off the top of my head.  For christ’s sake, some days I could look at Anybody who doesn’t have cancer and say they have it better than me.   So, by that token, please take Your discomfort out of my realm of being – compared to those who have it ‘better,’ I have a perfect right to be less than completely-ecstatic.

Yeah, this one instantly and pretty much completely pisses me off.

” . . . For the rest of the weekend, we quietly walked around Ann Arbor taking inventory of what was old and what was new.  What had changed and what had stayed the same.  Very few things were in just one column, least of all us. . . .”

There’s that simultaneous dichotomy again, which speaks to me so.

Copyright Ridingthebcrollercoaster.com 2012-2013 All Rights Reserved.