Who am I and what am I doing here? Well this blog is of me, about me, and entirely for me (I’m a fan of the Oxford comma, what can I say?). And if I can help someone else going through their own version of this journey to not feel crazy, or to find some little resource that makes it easier, then that is a huge bonus…
Most people would begin by introducing themselves by name, but let’s skip that. Choosing not to name myself will become clearer below in the Disclaimer. I’ve been married for 20+ years to a wonderful guy (who shall likewise remain nameless) and I’m a breast cancer patient, diagnosed on July 5, 2012 at the age of 46. I’m going to write this blog entirely in pseudonyms (yes, I will have a legend somewhere in my private writings to keep folks straight) to protect the, well, yes, often the guilty – at least in the world according to me.
Let me say right off the bat that I’m a very lucky woman – I have a fantastic husband, and both my parents are alive, healthy, local and very supportive. Additionally, I have a large extended family and circle of friends/acquaintances, plus work for a company (to continue in the spirit of vagueness) with a professional practice located somewhere in greater Southern California which has been and continues to be extremely supportive. It’s one of those situations where if I have to have cancer, I couldn’t have a better social support network, and my heart goes out to those women who must go through what I am, but without the great support that I have.
Does the fact that I have all the support I could wish for mean this isn’t still a batshit insane, devastating turn to my life? Nope – hence this blog.
Since I’m beginning this blog three months into the supposedly magic “one year” time period I’ve been told it commonly takes cancer patients to find what has been termed their “new normal (often after the most intensive therapies are completed, and now you’re into maintenance – whether with oral medications and/or what I imagine seems like near-constant scanning, assuming insurance can be conscripted to pay for same)” – hm, nice run-on sentence I’ve got going here; still with me? – the entries will not be strictly chronological, as I’ll be going forward from here, and recapping some of the highlights and lowlights of the past three months as I am so moved.
DISCLAIMER: If you know me offline in real life (particularly if you have asked me the name/location of this blog and I have given it to you), read this blog at your own risk! I’m not kidding here. I promise to give everyone a pseudonym, BUT if you recognize yourself in a post, I will not be held responsible for hurt feelings (or for you disliking the pseudonym I gave you). In any case, while I do censor myself according to general societal standards on Facebook, Twitter, the telephone and in direct emails and texts – this is somewhere I created for myself specifically so that I DO NOT have to censor myself AT ALL! That having been said, I will not set out intentionally to hurt anyone’s feelings, but to record my journey as I live it, regardless of whether it hurts someone’s feelings (there is a distinction here). I cannot promise that my posts will always come from a completely rational place (that’s part of the fun of having cancer), and, as I jokingly (one of those jokes that is 99% true) say in my home: I reserve the right to change my mind at any time, about anything, for any reason, on any day I wake up breathing.
DISCLAIMER #2: Oh, and some of the areas of this website may be considered by some as oversharing, as I plan to be as explicit as necessary to share the why’s behind some resources and suggestions.
So, if you still feel like heading over to the blog posts themselves (by clicking the hyperlinked blog header at the top of the page), welcome to my world and happy reading!
Lymph Node Negative
Excision Surgery: 8/13/12
Reconstruction Surgery 1: 8/27/12
Oncotype Testing = NO CHEMO! [See Resources Page]
Physical Therapy for Lymphatic Banding (side effect of surgery): 9/13/12-10/25/12
Radiation – 10/29/12-12/14/12 (See “Dr. Rex Hoffman – October 22, 2012“)
Tamoxifen – 1/11/13-1/10/18 (? – It’s five years on this piece of shit, if I can take it.)
(I’ll update this list as my treatment continues)
Feel free to contact me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Last Updated: January 17, 2013