Radiation Therapy Journal – Day 10 – Friday November 9, 2012

Treatment Notes:

– some warmth during the up-from-under portion of today’s program, otherwise not much, kinda in-zap-out

– one of my guys loves Friday like I do – another one of my guys was looking forward to seeing my Mom on Monday

– waiting for my guys to test the machine this morning I met another patient in the girls waiting area (they’re segregated by gender – for patient privacy – which is a pretty good thing – lots of people are more modest and more freaked out about that stuff than me, and that’s fine too), “Dana” and we had a nice chat while waiting for our respective machines (I think she’s either the 8:00am or 8:15am slot on one of the other two machines in the place).

Side Effects:

– lightheadedness/dizziness, fatigue, nausea: at the end of my morning walk around my work block, just as I was getting back around to my building I got all three kinda at once.  I had started to become worried that this journal was gonna get boring, but this cancer thing really is an hour-by-hour, day-by-day thing.  Kinda like the weather in Hawaii – wait 5 minutes and it’ll change.

– yeah, so 11:00am, nearly on the dot, as I’m coming back from taking my morning walk around the block I ran out of gas.  I guess I’m pretty done for the week.

– I know these twice a day short walks are good for me, on a number of levels, but today, they both seemed to just make me more tired than I was before.  The afternoon one seems to be “hitting the wall #2” today alone.

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Daily Prompt – “National Bathrobe Day”

National Bathrobe Day is a Holiday that pops up in my life on an irregular basis.

It has actually existed for a long time, long before I got the above name from an ex-boyfriend.

The best celebrations of National Bathrobe Day take some preparation…

– a market run is made to ensure all possibly desired foods/libations are at hand in the house

– it used to be a run to the video store (yes, that’s how old – and beyond – this holiday is) had to be done to rent videos for falling asleep to and other forms of time wasting

– one’s coziest pajama’s or other night/loungewear has to be freshly cleaned

. . . because here are the rules:

1.  There is no answering the phone.

2. There is no answering the door.

3. There is no leaving the house.

4. One must relax, whatever that means to the practitioner, for a whole day.

5. If one has made an error of epic proportions and forgotten some essential item for proper celebration (which item and its essentialness is Completely determined by the practitioner, in her sole discretion) – one May slink out the door to acquire said item, But one May Not actually wear outside clothes to do so (sweats/loungewear and slippers permitted Only – no jeans, real shoes, female upper undergarments, etc.).  Hence the pre-planning.

Why do I think we need National Bathrobe Day?

Because sometimes we all need to give ourselves permission to deliberately, consciously, (temporarily) crawl into a cave of our own devising . . .

. . . to stop the constant doing . . .

. . . to allow for some deep breaths . . .

. . . to give ourselves a chance to get bored once in a while . . .

. . . to allow ourselves a space where we answer to Nobody but ourselves for just a little while . . .

. . . to occasionally take a fucking nap . . .

. . . to allow ourselves just to Be, without a purpose or goal . . .

. . . just because.